How to Steer Your Teen Without Hovering or Nagging

Teens and tweens with executive function deficits need an extra nudge to get going. Here are 8 ways to help them get (and stay!) on the right track without being a helicopter parent.

by Peg Dawson, Ed.D.

#8 Use Positive Communication Tricks

These ideas come from a book by Arthur Robin, and suggest ways to replace bad patterns when families aren’t communicating well. If your family does this… try these alternative strategies:
  • Call each other names. >Express anger without hurt.
  • Put each other down. > Say, “I am angry that you did…”
  • Interrupt each other. > Take turns; keep it short.
  • Criticize too much. > Point out the good and bad.
  • Get defensive. > Listen, then calmly disagree.
  • Lecture. > Tell it straight and short.
  • Talk in sarcastic tone. > Talk in normal tone.
  • Dredge up the past. > Stick to the present.
  • Read others’ minds. > Ask others’ opinions.
  • Command, order. > Request nicely.
  • Give the silent treatment. > Say what’s bothering you.
  • Make light of something. > Take it seriously.
From ADHD in Adolescents: Diagnosis and Treatment by Arthur L. Robin. Copyright 1998 by The Guilford Press
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